Don't Worry

For the most part, I'm a pretty positive person.  I enjoy the company of my family and friends, playing with my dogs, and a good cup of coffee.  However, I know that I'm a worrier.  I consider it more of a "pessimistic reality"--meaning if something bad can occur, I at least like to dwell on it and prepare myself.  My dear husband constantly reminds me "Why are you worrying about things that aren't even real?"  I wish I could dwell more on the positive, because for the most part that is usually the outcome.

For example, I have type 1 diabetes.  Most articles on my disease warn of possible complications such as eye, kidney, and nerve damage.  I certainly try to do my part to take care of my disease to make sure that I don't get any of those things.  And I haven't (coming up of 5 years this December).  In fact, I would argue that I'm the healthiest I've ever been in my life, THANKS to diabetes.  My A1c this past Tuesday was 5.6!  The best I've had since going on the pump. 

Also, I am married and have been for 3 years now.  We received a lot of warnings when we were preparing for marriage that we would be miserable.  That we would wake up one day and realize we hate the person we're with!  I couldn't fathom that scenario at the time, but I at least prepared myself for that reality.  But our marriage has been so fun and so sweet and so . . . blissful, that I think all those "warnings" were nothing but smoke.  Sure, we've had our hard times, but it's nothing that "Holly & Trey" as a team can't handle.  I was worried that I would hate my husband, but I love him more and enjoy him more that I ever prepared myself for.

The same thing happens all the time.  I worried about a test in school, but I end up doing awesome.  I worried about not passing my thesis defense, but I was passed within 5 minutes.  I worry, I worry, and I worry.  Most of the time, over nothing. Some might say that my worrying just puts me in a more aware, prepared state of mind.  But I'd like to go through some things in life not worrying in the beginning and enjoy the process.

I know the best thing I can do is surround myself with positive people to counter my negativity.  I hate that most doctor's appointments will be spent making sure nothing is going wrong, at least in my mind.  I need to look for the positive.  I need to BE positive.  The Bible has 365 verses where the phrase "don't worry" is mentioned, but my favorite verse about having a positive mindset is Phillipians 4:8,

"whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such thing."

I need to tattoo this phrase on my right wrist, next to my medical ID.