What Makes My Heart Skip a Beat?

I had never been more nervous for any appointment than I was before our first ultrasound appointment.  I don't know why I was so nervous.  I suppose because up to that point, it hadn't been "real" yet.  Sure, I had been puking like a champ everyday for two weeks, but the idea of actually having another life inside of me hadn't hit me.  I was also worried that things weren't going to be 100% perfect--a product of living with an imperfect condition, I guess. 

The nurse called us back to the ultrasound room where I hoisted myself on the table and held my breath.  The entire room was dark except for the screen facing away from me, towards the technician and Trey.  I waited anxiously while she looked for the baby and, more importantly, a little heartbeat.  A few seconds later, she said, "Oh yeah, there it is."  She turned the screen towards me, and what I saw absolutely took my breath away.  It was the tiniest little peanut with a flicker on the left side.  Seeing the heart actually move at its own rhythm caused me to instantly break out some tears.  Instantly, I felt the need to apologize.  "You're probably used to this, right?  Pregnant women crying?" 

She printed out a few snapshots of the little peanut for us to take home (which now are proudly being displayed on our refrigerator).  While we waited on the doctor, Trey and I kept looking at the pictures and smiling at each other.  This was real.  This was happening.  Holy crap! 

The doctor walked in and said, "That's a good looking baby!"  He let us ask a plethora of questions, from who should take over cat litter duties (Trey gets to take it on for the next 7 months. *score*) to how long before the puke fest should subside.  The last question I asked him was the most important one in my mind, "Have you ever done a type 1 pregnancy before?"  I knew my OB was high-risk, but this question was important because it was personal to me.  I needed to know his experience with "my kind". 

He looked at me, one eyebrow up, "Of course!  I've been around for over 20 years, and have certainly seen my share of type 1s."  Actually, he said that type 1s are usually some of his healthiest patients because they're diligent about their health before they're pregnant.  I've always loved my OB, but seeing him that day made extremely grateful to have him as my doctor in this process. 

We got to see little Ferbie (yes, my creative nickname.  better than "it".) again yesterday, and the little teddy graham was dancing in there like it was doing hula hoops.  I'm already proud of this little squirt.