Losing Steam

I have an endo appointment in 3 weeks, which means I have to go get blood work done in 2 weeks.  It's about this time in my 4-month trip between visits called "life" that I start to lose my enthusiasm for diabetes management.  After I leave my appointments, within hours I go full force into testing frequently, counting carbs, and waiting the appropriate amount of time for the insulin to kick in.  But due to work life, home life, social life, and just life, I start to relax and think, "Eh, 216 mg/dL isn't that high."  Two hours later and still hanging out in the 200s, "I guess I should take a correction."  And instead of trying to figure out why I was high for so long from either not counting my carbs, testing my insulin:carb ratio, or tweaking my basal rate, I simply go on with my day and don't think about it. 

This trend starts with a trickle like going out with friends and wanting to leave diabetes at home, but then it just becomes part of the routine.  And before I know it, my 30-day average has jumped up by 5 mg/dL.  And I start getting relaxed on my diet, consuming well past my allotted 150 g carbs per day.  Then I start skipping workouts or stop going all together.  (Then you agree to play intramural football on a cool, windy Sunday afternoon and get so sore that you avoid walks to the bathroom because you have to go downstairs.)  All these things begin to pile up, then the calendar turns to October and you notice you have an endo appointment in 3 weeks and think, "Oh crap!" 

However, having Constance this round has helped my diabetes management a ton.  She doesn't increase my enthusiasm for testing or carb counting, more like an overbearing parent that constantly reminds you that you're high . . . every hour . . . starting at midnight.  When you have to wake up every hour to see to an inanimate object and look in the mirror wondering if you're starting to go crazy, you make sure your basal rates are spot on and you're normal before bedtime, because dangit I wanna sleep!  So even if I wanted to completely forget about diabetes in this last month, Constance wouldn't let me.  I was so excited when she first arrived, but now I find myself telling her, "You shush up now, and go to sleep!"  Maybe after the appointment, she and I will be excited about our bond and become BFFs again. 

So how do you guys handle this?  We all get excited and gung-ho about diabetes management at some point either after an appointment, diaversary, or getting a new toy (i.e. CGM), but eventually we all get burned out or simply bored with the day-to-day with diabetes.  I really don't want to watch this video to remind me to take care of myself (and that video wouldn't be that helpful anyway, give me hope over fear!).  I'm constantly reminded that living a life with diabetes is a marathon, not a sprint, and coming out of the gate full force only leads to frustration and exhaustion later.