I wouldn't necessarily call it burnout, I'm not quite there yet. But lately I've just felt like I've been going through the motions with diabetes (and life). I'm testing, counting, bolusing, exercising, but I just don't have any emotion behind any of it. The other night, Constance said that I soared to over 350 mg/dL before my insulin kicked in, and I just blinked at it. And I'm waiting out my lows longer than I should: I'll see that I'm low, wait the 30 minutes for the "snooze" to see if I will come up on my own, then correct if I'm still low.
I don't know what's causing this "blah"-ness. It could be the constant cold weather that's starting to wear on me and causing some winter blues. It could be the fact that I've stuck to my resolution of working out at least every other day and I've oscillated between +/- 2 lbs. It could be that college football is officially over (can I start the countdown yet?). And it could be just because diabetes is a constant disease regardless of my ambition or spirit to keep it under control.
Sometimes the blahs or burnouts can be a good thing. I haven't stressed out over a blood sugar reading over 250 mg/dL because I know the insulin will kick in eventually. But I haven't hooked Constance up to the Dexcom software since before my endo appointment back in October. And honestly, I'm afraid to. Between a sinus infection that left me cruising in the 300s and all the holiday snacking, I think my last A1c of 6.3% is long gone.
I'm just in this weird in-between phase right now because it's too cold to go bike riding or play softball (or to at least enjoy it). So I find myself going from home to work to home, trying to keep warm in the process making soup after soup (I'm running out of soup recipes), and working out with the Wii. Trey cut up a cantaloupe the other day, and I got the sweetest hint of spring with its taste. I'm so ready to see the sun and feel its warmth, rather than seeing my breath in the sky.
I've got the winter (and diabetes) blues. *cue jazz harmonica*
DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor, nurse, certified diabetes educator (CDE) or any medical professional of any kind. (But I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express!) Therefore, please do not use any of my postings as medical fact. I am simply a blogger expressing my highs and lows (pun intended) with diabetes. For changes in your medication, exercise regiment, or diet please consult a qualified physician.