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Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Feeling Vulnerable

Two weeks ago, I took on the endeavor of creaming 10 ears of corn by hand.  My goal was to make some turkey chowder completely homemade.  For those that don't know, the way to make homemade creamed corn is to take a knife and scrape off the kernels in chunks.  After about 5 ears of corn, I noticed on my right hand that my middle finger (yes, the birdie finger) starting going numb. 

My mind immediately went to that place I didn't want to be.  I was thinking about the "c"-word, complications.  After I got done and washed my hands, my finger was still numb.  I initially thought that I was just putting to much pressure on that finger and it would get feeling back in a little while.  The feeling didn't come back that day, or the next day.  Over the course of a week, I noticed the feeling slightly coming back to my fingertip. 

This might be a total fluke, and it might be totally normal, but I couldn't help feeling vulnerable from the experience.  My seemingly numb finger turned into, "I wonder if this means I'll lose my finger.  Will I have kids?  Will I die?"  I hate that my mind goes there, but it does.  The same thing happens whenever I notice I'm seemingly more thirsty or making more than average trips to the bathroom.  It might be diabetes related, but it also might mean I just had one too many iced coffees, period. 

Why do we do that to ourselves?  I feel like I'm doing everything right, so it's probably nothing to worry about.  But the instance something is wrong with me (numb finger, infection, sneeze, a twitch), I automatically blame it on D.  It's a safe bet I will end up with some type of complications later in life, simply by the odds, but I really don't think I should start now.  

Not that the feeling is 100% back in my middle finger, I really feel like using to test.  If you know what I mean.  *wink* 


  1. I'm right there with you!
    A little heartburn from eating pizza really late on a Friday night...and I'm certain I'll have a heart attack or develop heart disease and be found dead in the morning :(
    Why do we do this to ourselves?!?!?

    At least I hope you're enjoying your homemade turkey chowder :)

  2. I know exactly what you mean. I do the same thing. :)


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DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor, nurse, certified diabetes educator (CDE) or any medical professional of any kind. (But I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express!) Therefore, please do not use any of my postings as medical fact. I am simply a blogger expressing my highs and lows (pun intended) with diabetes. For changes in your medication, exercise regiment, or diet please consult a qualified physician.

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My name is Holly and I live in north Alabama with my hubby, two cats, and a dog.